Where my 20-somethings at?!

I am 25. Right smack in the middle of this “20-something” ride in life.

I live on my own, but still call my mom to remind me how to cook chicken. I pay my own bills, but still ask my dad to take me school clothes shopping (a tradition we had every year since I was in kindergarten). I can do my own laundry, but once, I went a few loads only washing with fabric softener- my boyfriend had quite the laugh when he tried to do laundry at my place one day and found out that’s all I’d been using.

I have far too many blankets for one woman to acceptably own. I eat way too much rice for someone who spends hours on Pinterest. I trick myself in to thinking I’ll actually to yoga at home by keeping my yoga mat in the middle of my living room floor (complete with 5-10lb free weights in case I get real ambitious thoughts). I pretend that I know how to keep clean yet I constantly forget to buy bars of soap and end up washing with shampoo and conditioner. I like to think that I can handle danger, but I still sleep with a full set of Christmas lights plugged in. I try to budget $50 or less a week in groceries but I spend at least $20 on things like dark chocolate M&Ms, pre-made fruit and yogurt cups, and my favorite baked cheddar chips. I complain when I go to the gym every night and still look and weigh the same, then I remember I live off of rice, dark chocolate M&Ms, fruit and yogurt cups, and baked cheddar chips. I act like I’m tired enough to sleep for 12 hours straight, yet I spend a good portion of my night scrolling Instagram and reading Buzzfeed articles.

I enjoy the perks of living on my own, but I miss my mom cooking dinner every night. I love having a place to escape to when my overly extroverted self gets tired, but I long for the days my sorority sisters lived within 5 minutes from me. I still want to play intramural soccer, dance in talent shows, and gossip with my girlfriends, but I don’t have the time and access to all of that any more. I want to take trips and adventures, but schedules never match up and the thought of leaving the couch and Netflix seems daunting to some.

20-something. I’m not quite the adult that my kinders believe I am. I put chips in my sandwich (ahem- “playing with my food”), I throw fits when I’m tired or hungry, I light up with I see ice cream, I love running around in the grass barefoot, I like to be taken care of, I hate being told what to do and I want to take naps in the middle of the day.

20-something. I’m not quite the adult my parents think I should be. I don’t always get my oil changed exactly when I need to, regardless of how many times they remind me. I don’t know how to do my taxes, no matter how many times they’ve showed me. I still need constant reaffirmation that I’m cooking something right, even if I’ve sent them 10 pictures of what it looks like. I still need their vote of confidence before I make any sort of “big” decision (yes, that includes their approval of that cute dress I want to buy or the a-okay that eating pizza after my work out isn’t a total waste).

20-something. I’m still the 6 year old who loves to color. I’m still the 10 year old who loves to learn. I’m still the 14 year old who loves to gossip. I’m still the 17 year old who wants to be old enough to stay out past 9pm, but young enough for daddy to still give her an allowance. I’m still the 19 year old, who’s rebelling against the rules and seeking acceptance of her peers. I’m still the 21 year old who loves to go out. I’m still the 22 year old who’s scared to leave her 4 years of comfort and friends and start a career and a life of her own.

20-something. I can not explain you. I can not define you. I don’t want to. You scare me and you excite me and I’m not sure if I want you to end or if I want to stay here forever. I love the options you give me but hate the restrictions (why can you only get in free when you’re under 9 or over 65?). You’ve got me growing and changing, living and learning, crying and laughing.

I’m an “adult”. As in “I pay my own bills but I still say righty-tighty, lefty-loosey to figure things out”. 

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20 thoughts on “Where my 20-somethings at?!

  1. As someone who is turning 31 tomorrow – I’ll tell you that this stuff may not change. I still relish in eating ice cream for dinner (Because I make adult decisions for myself now, dangit!) and I still text my mother asking her how to bake chicken and at what temperature (even though I legit have circa 15 screenshots of the directions already).

    You’ve basically inspired my birthday post for tomorrow 🙂 Great post!!

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  2. You sound like my daughter in several ways — she’s 26. She sends me picture of her food and dresses she’s thinking about buying. She’s doing her taxes right now for the first time. Today she texted me asking where the miso would be in the grocery store even though she lives in Houston and I’m in Chicago. She asks our advice on many things. And I love that she does this — that she thinks enough of her parents to ask for our help and advice. (We used to be stupid, but we apparently recovered from that phase!)

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  3. I love the honesty of this piece, the repetition of the structure, the specific details and anecdotes. I love the quote at the end. I just loved this piece! It is honest, vulnerable and from what I remember of my 20-s, right on!

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  4. I love this post! I’m 25 and relate to so many of these. I love this age and don’t want to leave it. I feel like there will never be an age that I don’t rely on my parents! Very well written!

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  5. When I was a 20-something, I fell in love with an old John Denver song called “Sweet Surrender.”

    Lost and alone on some forgotten highway
    Traveled by many, remembered by few
    Looking for something that I can believe in
    Looking for something that I’d like to do with my life…

    …I don’t know what the future is holding in store
    I don’t know where I’m going, I’m not sure where I’ve been
    There’s a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me
    My life is worth the living, I don’t need to see the end.

    Enjoy this time of independence and discovery!

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  6. I’m 25 also and I am shocked to say we are very different, and I love that! I love meeting people or talking to people who come from such a different lifestyle than that of my own. Good luck with yoga and those kinders!

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  7. Ahhh…I’m 29 and still do 99% of these things! I may or may not be currently on the phone with my mom as I type this, asking her (once again) if I have all the ingredients to my favorite stir- fry… I may also call my mom when I need to have that “I’m super overwhelmed and no one (not even me) understands” melt down once in a great while… Parents are just the best that way! I don’t think there will be a day where I’ll ever not call for advice! Such a relate able piece! Love your writing!

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  8. I’ll tell you what, Jenna trying to figure out who we are, realizing we aren’t the people others might see us as, and feeling in between childhood and adulthood is never outgrown!! Some of us are just ‘closer’ to that adulthood than childhood, but we never pass totally from one to another. Your post was AWESOME!

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  9. This is adorable, and so well written! I hate to tell you this, but most of what you identify as being still young behavior, I can totally relate to at a much older age! Sometimes I feel like I’m still that five year old child inside, looking out at the world and wondering about it. And the part where you wonder why you don’t lose wight-ha! I wrote the same thing in one of my posts!

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