I am 25. Right smack in the middle of this “20-something” ride in life.
I live on my own, but still call my mom to remind me how to cook chicken. I pay my own bills, but still ask my dad to take me school clothes shopping (a tradition we had every year since I was in kindergarten). I can do my own laundry, but once, I went a few loads only washing with fabric softener- my boyfriend had quite the laugh when he tried to do laundry at my place one day and found out that’s all I’d been using.
I have far too many blankets for one woman to acceptably own. I eat way too much rice for someone who spends hours on Pinterest. I trick myself in to thinking I’ll actually to yoga at home by keeping my yoga mat in the middle of my living room floor (complete with 5-10lb free weights in case I get real ambitious thoughts). I pretend that I know how to keep clean yet I constantly forget to buy bars of soap and end up washing with shampoo and conditioner. I like to think that I can handle danger, but I still sleep with a full set of Christmas lights plugged in. I try to budget $50 or less a week in groceries but I spend at least $20 on things like dark chocolate M&Ms, pre-made fruit and yogurt cups, and my favorite baked cheddar chips. I complain when I go to the gym every night and still look and weigh the same, then I remember I live off of rice, dark chocolate M&Ms, fruit and yogurt cups, and baked cheddar chips. I act like I’m tired enough to sleep for 12 hours straight, yet I spend a good portion of my night scrolling Instagram and reading Buzzfeed articles.
I enjoy the perks of living on my own, but I miss my mom cooking dinner every night. I love having a place to escape to when my overly extroverted self gets tired, but I long for the days my sorority sisters lived within 5 minutes from me. I still want to play intramural soccer, dance in talent shows, and gossip with my girlfriends, but I don’t have the time and access to all of that any more. I want to take trips and adventures, but schedules never match up and the thought of leaving the couch and Netflix seems daunting to some.
20-something. I’m not quite the adult that my kinders believe I am. I put chips in my sandwich (ahem- “playing with my food”), I throw fits when I’m tired or hungry, I light up with I see ice cream, I love running around in the grass barefoot, I like to be taken care of, I hate being told what to do and I want to take naps in the middle of the day.
20-something. I’m not quite the adult my parents think I should be. I don’t always get my oil changed exactly when I need to, regardless of how many times they remind me. I don’t know how to do my taxes, no matter how many times they’ve showed me. I still need constant reaffirmation that I’m cooking something right, even if I’ve sent them 10 pictures of what it looks like. I still need their vote of confidence before I make any sort of “big” decision (yes, that includes their approval of that cute dress I want to buy or the a-okay that eating pizza after my work out isn’t a total waste).
20-something. I’m still the 6 year old who loves to color. I’m still the 10 year old who loves to learn. I’m still the 14 year old who loves to gossip. I’m still the 17 year old who wants to be old enough to stay out past 9pm, but young enough for daddy to still give her an allowance. I’m still the 19 year old, who’s rebelling against the rules and seeking acceptance of her peers. I’m still the 21 year old who loves to go out. I’m still the 22 year old who’s scared to leave her 4 years of comfort and friends and start a career and a life of her own.
20-something. I can not explain you. I can not define you. I don’t want to. You scare me and you excite me and I’m not sure if I want you to end or if I want to stay here forever. I love the options you give me but hate the restrictions (why can you only get in free when you’re under 9 or over 65?). You’ve got me growing and changing, living and learning, crying and laughing.
I’m an “adult”. As in “I pay my own bills but I still say righty-tighty, lefty-loosey to figure things out”.