The World According to Jenna

The World According to Jenna

My boyfriend has already titled the book we are going to write (though the name “Jenna” may change….:)). I’m a loud, tempered, Italian- and along with that, very opinionated. The book idea came up one day when I went on several rants about the way things should be. And it was further confirmed that this needed to happen when we realized all I ever do is express my feelings on how I think people should do things (ahem…Zach….), or how I think things should be done, or how I think certain things are silly and unnecessary, and things I don’t think people do enough of. Here a couple of examples for chapters (forewarning- I give my blunt opinions.)

Wedding Photography

“Wow babe! Look at the picture of the way we set up our tables! Let’s get this one blown up and have it hang in our living room so we can remember the table cloths and how many chairs were at each table!”

“Let’s get the picture of the guest book so we can remember who was here! We could just actually look at the guest book, but let’s get the picture so we can have something to remember the moment!”

I get it. Weddings are special. I’ve never had one, and who knows if I ever will, but I’ll tell you what- I don’t want to pay a photographer for a bunch of pictures that capture the kind of linen I chose, what my buffet style selection of food looked like, and what kind of pens were used to sign the guest book.

People. Scenery. That’s what I’ll want. Please, spare me the dainty little details. I don’t need pictures to remind me of my champagne glasses.

Kid Shoes

BY YOUR 5 YEAR OLD SLIP ON OR VELCRO SHOES FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SANE I CAN NOT SPEND HALF OF MY DAY TYING SHOES UNTYING THE KNOTS THEY TIE IN THEIR SHOES WATCHING THEM PUT THE LACES IN THEIR MOUTHS OR UP THEIR NOSES OR IN THEIR EARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You get the point.

Clearly this book would need some solid work. It will be my job to rant and Zach’s job to put it all together coherently and satirically. We’re really excited. We’re buying voice recorders. One for me to rant to when he’s not around and one for him to carry around so that when I go on one of my rants he can capture it.

This will be fun. 🙂

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “The World According to Jenna

  1. I was laughing out loud reading this, especially the Kids shoes. It still happens just like that in first grade! My friend gave me the best advice with shoes for my own daughter – “you can wear shoes with laces when you can tie them independently and quickly.” I stuck to it. No laces til she was good with the laces. I’m sure her teachers have silently thanked me. And really, why do they put the laces in their mouths – they’ve been dragging all over the floors, even in the bathroom, yuck! Thanks for making me smile with this post.

    Like

    • Haha I refuse to tie the laces if I’ve seen them in their mouth- maybe I’m mean but hey, they can “tuck them” if they think they’ll trip 😉 I do allow 15min a day as a “rest/quiet time” and during that time one of the activities they can do is practice tying shoes- I have 20 shoes in my classroom specifically to practice!

      Like

  2. Oh lord! I refuse to tie shoelaces. My second graders think its cool to tie their shoelaces together. Then, they come cry when they can’t get them untied and their feet are tied together. I don’t have time to try and untie all of them, so I cut them. They quickly learned not to do it again!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s