What day is it?

It’s already starting to happen.

I’m already losing track of the days.

And this is going on until (at least) April 27?! What am I to do?!

Unlike other schools, our district is not implementing online or distant learning. No packets sent home, no group chats via Google Hangouts, no lessons given out online- nothing. Literally…. n-o-t-h-i-n-g.

I’m already going crazy.

I was so hopeful that if this closure lasted longer than the first 2 weeks, we would at least be getting packets ready to send home, or get set up online somehow.

But, no. We are not.

And I get it- I understand what makes our situation so complicated.

But it doesn’t make it easier. It doesn’t calm my heart.

I feel so helpless. I feel like I’m letting these kids down; and I know it’s not my fault, but I just can’t help but feel like I’m failing- especially when I see teachers all over the country teaching their students from afar.

I was allowed to set up a Facebook group- but it could contain nothing educational or instructional (including no videos of me reading aloud 😦 ). Despite what I can’t do in that group, I can post pictures and videos, and they can as well. I set this up yesterday, and have checked it frequently all day today. It’s been so fun to see videos of these kids doing things I normally don’t get to see them do!

While it’s incredibly hard to not be teaching during this time, and heartbreaking to see and hear the backlash and hurtful messages that some parents are sending our way, it’s been such a blessing to connect with my students in a different way.

I do hope my students are reading. I hope they’re enjoying snuggles on the couch with a book in their hands, or tucked into bed with a reader at their side giving them things to dream about (while sadly, this probably isn’t happening with all, or even most of my students- it’s nice to think about). I do hope they’re writing. I sent out letters to each of them; I hope, at the very least, they use the stamp I included and send one back to me. I do hope they are practicing their math, but in ways that aren’t “school related”. Cooking or baking. Playing outside, exploring. Board games or even their silly video games. I hope they are wanting to do something to enrich their brains.

But I also hope they’re having fun. I hope they’re playing and seeking. I hope they’re relaxing. I hope they’re spending time with their families. I hope they’re eating. I hope they’re warm. I hope they’re getting their nails painted, or playing card games. I hope someone is paying attention to them. I hope they’re paying attention to someone else.

Our community is tough. But this is an even tougher time. While I am sad to not be teaching or providing resources, I am relieved that there isn’t added stress in these homes. I’m okay with knowing that by not requiring things to get done, we can alleviate some very real problems (emotionally, mentally, and even physically) that could arise.

I am sad. I am heartbroken. I am missing them and my job. I am lonely. I feel lost.

But I am thankful. I am blessed. I am healthy. And I can still see their smiling faces, thank goodness.

4 thoughts on “What day is it?

  1. mrsday75 says:

    Hugs to you. This is such a tough time for teachers. To not be with your kids, not getting to say good-by really, just sucks. And I understand not sending homework, etc. But I don’t understand nothing educational, no read alouds… But at least you get connections. And that is a good thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. astarowicz says:

    “I feel so helpless.” – This is the most difficult part. We are trained as teachers to teach and help kids, and right now, this does not seem to be happening (our district isn’t allowing much online learning either). It is so frustrating. I am certain that your kids are missing you like crazy. And in your last paragraph you sum it up perfect. Keep imagining those smiling faces and knowing that you will see them soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Darin Johnston says:

    We’ve haven’t gotten the ok quite yet to even FB Live/Google Meet/Zoom with our students. I’ve started a vlog which I guess is a hit with the sixth grade crowd, and I’ve emailed my homeroom daily.

    But I miss the routine, I miss the smart a$$ replies to a question, I miss them.

    Hopefully, we’ll find some normal for them and us.

    Thank you for sharing today. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. aggiekesler says:

    I can’t imagine teaching…and then suddenly, not. I hope that you find your way and that your students are reading and writing. As someone who has been online teaching for 3 weeks, it’s an added stress, but I don enjoy the connection with my students. Best of luck to you in this very uncertain time.

    Liked by 1 person

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