A better day

Today was better than yesterday. Not great. But better.

I worked out twice.

I got things situated for my second job- the center that I tutor for is providing free services 2x a day starting Thursday and I’m in charge of them. 1 hour of math/science activity and 1 hour of an interactive read aloud. I will be providing these sessions via Zoom.

I was asked to help babysit a child. The mother works for my dad at the hospital and needs childcare 3 hours a day 2-3x a week, so I will be helping her out.

I want to help. I wish I was helping MY students, MY community of kids, but I am glad to finally be helping and doing something.

I’m still frustrated.

I’m still lonely.

I’m still lost.

But come Thursday I’ll have a schedule. A routine. And right now, that’s what I need.

I can’t wait to find out more about my students. What I can do, when I can do it.

Being in the dark is awful.

Not knowing is awful.

Hearing so much criticism is awful.

But I’m working on trying to push those negatives back, and focus on the positives. Take this day by day. Be in the here and now, even if it’s eerie and weird and uncomfortable.

I’m pretty good at outwardly doing that- if you were to see me or speak to me right now, you’d probably be like- “is this the same girl?”

Yes. It is. I’m way better at hiding my feelings to others in person.

But I feel like I can let go in this platform. Like a journal. Even though it’s out there for others to see, I don’t have to speak it or show it. It’s just there, written.

You guys get it.

6 thoughts on “A better day

  1. Amanda Regan says:

    I totally get it. I love the line, “Be in the here and now, even if it’s eerie and weird and uncomfortable.” It is eerie and weird and uncomfortable, but this is what we have and it is up to us to make the best of it and make it through. I hope each day going forward is better than the last. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. paulabourque says:

    Yeah, we get it! Hang in there, Jenna. Sounds like you are going to have a pretty full schedule to help get you through. Can’t wait until we can see one another again and see our students, as well. Stay safe, stay healthy!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. astarowicz says:

    We get it. It is nice to have a routine. I am a bit jealous that you are starting a routine on Thursday. I can’t wait to get back to more of a routine. I also can’t wait to hear how it goes for you.

    Doesn’t working out help? We, as teachers, are not used to sitting all day. I am running and walking the most miles that I run/walk in over a year. It feels so good. And it’s good for us.:)

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s